just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
