Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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