You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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