It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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