that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
