that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
