6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
