I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize