I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
