dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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