Pappa wants mamma naked
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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