Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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