the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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