end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
