So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
