The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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