Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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