Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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