just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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