we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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