Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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