Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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