if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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