Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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