If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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