If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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