You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
