just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
