The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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