I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The feeling are messing with the penis
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
