so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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