what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
