Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
