I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
