I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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