i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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