so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
