I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
