when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
