Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
