I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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