I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's shark week go big or go home
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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