I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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