i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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