It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize