either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
