and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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