Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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