Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
