We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
