So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
