If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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