Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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