I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
