Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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