Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize