I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
