K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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