Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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