Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
