just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
