Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
