I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Green mimosas i think yes
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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