Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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