the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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