He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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